Here it is...

Well…Here it is. It has been some time since I have posted on the blog and I wanted to just let you know how everything is going.

First, I am feeling like crap because I had treatment yesterday and I had my Nullesta shot this morning. But, I feel pretty damn good at the same time because yesterday was my 7th treatment and that means there are only 5 more treatments to go. It is so nice to be over the hump! What a ride this has been thus far and I wish I could describe and explain all the feelings that go through your mind during the journey of chemotherapy and battling cancer.

I will say that I do everything I can to stay positive and the more I hear from people and the more I get to be around people, the more it truly keeps me going. At the same time I do have my times where I am down and want to crawl up, fall asleep, and wake up in December when this is all over with. I still will never ask why this happened to me as I have no control over this disease. I am blessed to have a cancer that does have a cure, but by no means would I want anyone to ever have to go through what I have had to go through. A couple weeks ago I was talking to some friends about being diagnosed and my treatments. When I was first told I had cancer, the emotions and shock was tremendous, and when I look back on those couple of weeks, it amazes me how far I am already. In the whole gist of everything, time has gone by pretty fast and I know this is all going to benefit me for many more years once I am cancer free. I do miss being able to have free roam and just being able to go out and do what I want. It seems that the days I want to take the boat out are the weekend when I am sick and of course that is when the sun is out too. Sometimes I push it a little too hard on the weekends when I am sick and I really feel tired for the next few days after that. I have not been getting sick, but I am on the verge of it.

Yesterday when I was finishing up treatment, the nurse has to flush my port out with saline solution, and I almost threw up. The taste of saline is horrible and as soon as they flush it you can taste it. I get nauseas just typing/talking about it. This is all mental, and the only reason why I get more nauseas as the treatments go on is because a few weeks ago, there was an elderly man in the treatment room. Before he even sat down to start getting treatment, he was already throwing up, and he took the seat right next to me. I think the poor guy probably threw up over 20 times. Luckily they brought the man into the private room, but I could still hear him through the walls and I had my headphones on. Well, that image and sound is stuck in my head, and when I think about going to treatment, that is one of the first things I think about and it makes me sick to my stomach.

I will say the nurses at the cancer center are so nice and they all know my name, I feel bad because I can’t remember everyone’s names. A lot of the nurses and people that work at the cancer center have been diagnosed with cancer at some time and have had to go through chemo or radiation or both. It makes it so nice to be able to speak with them about how I am feeling and what they recommend. I also think they enjoy having someone in the treatment room that is younger then them. I am pretty sure the average age for patients is probably around 70 and I am 28. Last week was the first time I saw someone who looked about my age, and I don’t even know if she was being treated or if she was there with a family/friend getting treated.

I have started taking notes on this whole journey I am going through and I am going to attempt to write a book about being diagnosed, how I stay positive, and everything else I have learned along the way and everything that comes with it. I have a whole different look on life and I am sure when I am cancer free my look on life will be even that much different. I think the real reason why want to do this is first for me not to forget what I went through, second, if one person can benefit from it, I would feel it was a success, and third I never knew how intense this would be. Even when my dad was diagnosed with cancer awhile back, I never understood it and how mentally and physically draining this disease is. It will be therapeutic for me, just as these blogs are. I know my English skills are not the greatest, but I have a ghost writer all lined up. So, don’t worry…

It was great seeing some old faces at my 10 year reunion in Issaquah, at the same time I felt like an ass for forgetting half the people’s names. Oh well…I was surprised, we had over 320 kids graduate in 2000 and only about 75-100 total people showed up, that’s including dates. It is funny, you have the people that go to the bar down the street from the reunion for the after party, but they won’t show their face at the reunion. I guess they are still too cool for school, huh? I can’t drink and I was too tired, so I didn’t even go to the after party. Oh well…

For all my dem friends, here is your pic of the day!!!